All I really have in this current existence are my thoughts about how I see the world.
In this vision I tally the wins of all my merits.
I attempt to measure the length of my days.
I compare the accomplishments of my life with others and still I am empty.
I think I am almost enthralled in the trap of achievement.
I know in the deep down of my mind that this too will lead to nowhere
and yet I go down the road curious of what I will find.
Because too often I am alone in my thoughts.
Curiouser and curiouser I journey into the unknown.
I pick up habits that don’t belong to me and they weigh heavy on my soul.
Rest is calling and I often run away.
Love is calling and I struggle to win another day.
Can I add a cubit to my stature by how I think about this life?
Or is it grace, is it mercy, is it the light of life and forgiveness that carries me when I have done all that I can do to try to win.
When I cross the line I faint because I have no more to give.
But my Lord, he carries me and breathes into me new life,
although I curse him everyday with my struggle to be better than his most precious.
As I fall I realize, I am no better, I am no stronger, I am no wiser or astute to the lessons of living.
I fall and I need a savior to catch me.
I bruise and I need a healer to heal me.
I stain and I stink and I mock the kindness of the lowly.
Still a gift of forgiveness waits for me to untie the lovely deep red bow,
and tear the paper back gently,
and open the box of truth where my real life lives.
Forever and ever is what this gift gives.
Thank you for the gift for all life to live.
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