Motivation: Broken

Your Motivation for this Monday:

You are absolutely

Good Enough to

Tell your Story

I wanted to give you the motivation straight forward because this is going to be one of those sad post.  One of those long post, full of insight, venting, and passionate expression of what I believe as true.  I am in one of my moods that creative people often get into. ..

I am a broken person.  Sometimes I cry uncontrollably in the dark of the night. Silently and alone, with the sobs of hopelessness bringing me a pounding in the frontal lobes of my mind.

Wait, that's not it

There used to be a hole in my soul

There used to be a hole in my soul and I couldn't quite get what was going to satisfy the yearning for better.  It lingered inside of me like a squirmy tadpole growing into something jumpy and hard to catch . . . Let me say this, I think if we all were a little better at communicating our feelings we would be able to help each other cope a little bit better in this life.  I can feel the hurt souls, the suffering, the pain, and the sadness that lives in this world.  I have found something that helps fill the void in my soul.  I want to tell you about the person I found that saved my life.

No, It is not the white guy in the video!

Don't watch that yet, let me tell you a little more. . .

"We are all very smart and astute, but we are ignorant when comes to issues of life."

-Lisa Bevere

I had a really hard time this morning after driving my mom to the airport.  First of all, I over slept.  My alarm didn't go off at 4:45am and I was late.  No problem, we figured it out, she drove the car over, met me at my house so that we could get on the road faster.  When I dropped her off at the airport, I didn't know that something was going to hit me so hard.  I cried, because my mommy was leaving as we approached the one year anniversary of my dad's struggle for survival and his eventual death from cardiac failure.

As I pulled back up to my house, my mom's car was parked in the driveway directly in front of me.  The black Volkswagen Passat was really my dad's car that he would often drive to my house.  As I parked,  I noticed a head moving in the little black car in front of me.  I saw a head moving in the driver's seat.  I closed my eyes and opened them again and spoke to myself "It can not be."  It was my dad with his black leather hat, moving his head like he was talking to someone in the passenger seat.  Again, "This cannot be!"  I got excited for a moment, then knew that if I approached the scene with a tad more inquiry, the vision would disappear.  I closed my eyes once more, and as I opened them I propped my self up a little to see exactly who was in the car.  But as I did, they were gone, and I started to cry uncontrollably.

Our mind often sees what it wants to see.  Our eyes send a message to our brain of what we rationalize we see.  The Holy Spirit shows us exactly what is going on in our soul.  That can be hard to make sense of sometimes.

I couldn't push myself to go into work today because I had to write.  I had to try to pull myself together. This is how I care for my soul. I used to have a lot of unhealthy habits that weren't apart of my purpose.  If  I were to go down the empty paths of darkness again, I know that it would be harder to get out.  Instead, I write.  It is my creative outlet. This is how I fill the emptiness that I have inside.  I am realizing that this is the God in me.  This is how he wants me to communicate with him and for him.  This is what I was created for and this is why it helps me in this world of chaos and disfunction.

Tell you story and understand that you must share it for your survival.  This blog is my survival.  

 We are always searching for what will make us feel better or be better.  The thing is, we are already good enough.  This is why I have to keep writing and telling everyone about the awesomeness of what I have found.  I found Jesus.  Not only have I found Jesus, but I have found a closer relationship with him.  There is something greater about the awesomeness of God that they don't teach you in school, or church, or any other organization that claims they know Jesus.  Jesus desires a closer relationship with you so that he could walk this journey with you.  He wants to help you through your trouble and your brokenness.  This is what he told me today:

"Don't you realize that I have you. I will never leave you nor forsake you.  You were made for a purpose and a reason.  You are special exactly how you are and for exactly who your are.  Don't be distracted by the things of this world.  Everything that I have for you, it is for you.  You don't have to try harder or try to be better.  Be exactly who you are.  I already died for the evil that are in the minds of men. Those who are not with me, seek to fulfill their own desires and lusts.  I have already fixed that problem.  Keep your eyes straight forward.  Do what I ask you to do.   I have started a work in you and I will complete it until the very end.  Put your trust in me.  Know that I got you.  You will go to the next place that I have prepared for you.  You can rest there, it will be ok.  I will prepare you for your next journey."

-Jesus


The world would love to glamorize the Journey, but the journey is not all glitter and gold.  To work for the things of this world is only a temptation of the enemy. Be careful of the road you take.  Be careful of the way you go.


The Lord shows me books.  Right before I started writing this blog this morning, God told me to write that I am broken.  I was like "This is supposed to be Motivation Monday, not Mow Me Down Monday."  But I paid attention.  He told me to look up the book, and I was like "I'm going to use 'Unashamed' and this will be a great post for BOOKS4PURPOSE. . ."  However, this was not what the Lord wanted me to share.  He told me to look the story up on You Tube, and it is here that the Lord started to minister to my weeping soul.  I pray that it will help you as well.

This is a story about a man who thought it was over for him.  He suffered from addiction, he was in recovery for three years, but something triggered him that made him fall into a spiral that would have eventually killed him.  He tells his story below.  He also wrote a book called "Broken."  You can click the video to listen to his story. . .

William Cope Moyers

The Lord is made stronger in our weakness.  Why?  Because we are able to share our story with others and help them in our communication. We speak so that others can see that NO ONE has it all figured out.  NO ONE can self sustain.  The world needs a savior.  We all need someone to save us because each and every one of us is broken.

God showed me that I was broken when, while on my personal Journey to find my purpose, he led me to attend a mental health seminar.  I was going for a Mental Health First Aid certification in order to help "other" people who battle with mental illness.  Little did I know, through the explanation of what a cry for help looked like, I was experiencing a lot of the symptoms:

Giving things away/massively

Preparing my family for a life with out me

Becoming isolated

quitting things I was once passionate about 

Saying Good bye to people 

and thanking them like I wasn't going to see them again

asking questions about life:

What is the meaning of life?

Why am I here?

Extreme Fatigue

Depression

Anxiety

I was having a mental breakdown, but I didn't know it!  The Spirit of God directed me to writing because he knew that this was the only way I would make it.  The Holy Spirit was keeping me in perfect peace.  He showed me that I, like everyone else, am broken.  The worse thing that you can do to a broken person is to keep beating them over the head with the fact that they are broken. This is the issue I have with the church format.  Broken people are calling other people broken and making people feel bad about who they are.  People are dying.  People are not finding the peace that the Holy spirit really has to offer. This is the same thing with the condition of the world. The best thing that we can do, is be patient and understanding until the world can also see that they are indeed broken. We teach in gentleness and in truth. We all are addicted to something.  Jesus gave us another chance at survival.  It's a choice to accept the gift of life.

 "This disease effects everyone."

-William Cope Moyers

We are all living in our disfunction.  We tend to operate and put on our masks in front of people.  What is really going on in the inside of man?  What is going on?  Why do we cry our silent tears and claim that no one understands because everyone else has it so together.  No one has it all together.  The world would like you to think so.  Hollywood would like you to think so.  The music industry wants to show you all the shine of the glimmer and glam, but it is all a false reality.  People only see what they want to see.  People are not happy. What is the answer?  The answer is and will always be Jesus.

William Cope Moyers

Unlike some popular memoirs that have fictionalized and romanticized the degradations of drug addiction, Broken is a true-life tale of recovery that stuns and inspires with virtually every page. The eldest son of journalist Bill Moyers, William Cope Moyers relates with unforgettable clarity the story of how a young man with every advantage found himself spiraling into a love affair with crack cocaine that led him to the brink of death-and how a deep spirituality allowed him to conquer his shame, transform his life, and dedicate himself to changing America's politics of addiction.

"William Cope Moyers's lucid, measured tale of his own plunge into crack-addled hell [is] frightening in its very realism." -USA Today

-from a description on Amazon

You are always ok, until you are not.



My writing is how I tell my story.  William writes and gives speeches to tell his story.  How will you tell yours?  You are absolutely good enough to tell your story.  


-until next time
Tamorra

2 Corinthians 12:9 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.