Day 37- I wanted to be rich

When I started this journey I wanted to be rich.  I thought that being rich was the answer to my problems.  I thought that having money and being able to do what ever I wanted was going to make me happy.  So I imagined not worrying about paying a mortgage, or about paying for the kids to go college.  I imagined my bills being paid, all of them. I felt a sense of security and pride in the not having to worry about meeting my obligations.  My thoughts would float up and up on the dream of "If I had the money  . . ." 

I would live in abundance
I would go on retreats with my husband
I would travel the world with my family
I would help people
I would write books for a living
I would get a roof for my house
I would buy my parents a house
I would go on vacation
I would build an art school
I would help kids who were angry about their life
I would change the school system
I would put the money back into teacher's pensions
I would pay back all those people who helped me
I would pay all of my student loans
I would give to the church
I would start my own ministry
I would
I would
I would
because I had an abundance of money.

And I promised myself that I was going to find a way not to be stuck anymore.  I felt stuck because I used to love my job.  It was my dream job that I had worked very hard to get to.  I did the work, I went to school, I made the sacrifices, and I experienced the grind; but something had changed.  The system was broken and I saw it everyday.  I saw the rundown schools, I saw the broken kids, I saw the burnt out teachers trying to make a difference.  I saw the system that did not create an atmosphere for learning, but one that rejected those who didn't quite fit in.  I was stuck in a career that was not helping people.  I was stuck in a system that taught students how to stay stuck.

So yes, when I started this journey I wanted to be rich.  I read the books that were supposed to teach me how to be rich. "Think and Grow Rich," was one of the first ones.  "The Richest Man in Babylon" was another.  I read these books and a strange thing happened,  I received a Reduction in Force letter.  This was just a fancy term for LAID OFF.  Something strange happen after that, I didn't care.  It was like a great burden lifted from my shoulders and I was finally free to become RICH!!  I thought that If I could just write down my experiences about this lower-economic school system, then I would become an "International Best selling Author!!"  It didn't happen that way.  Instead, I lost my job.  I became broke.  I became broken.  I became lost in my purpose. . .

BUT, that was 5 years ago.

I am just taking this time to reflect on how far I have come in this journey.  Today, I know that I am on my way.  I am no longer broken because I put my trust in the Lord. I am now rich because I know that I have eternal life.  WOW, what a gift!